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Not a whole lot to comment on after last night's 'The Bachelor'. Before I get to a character-by-character recap, I'll re-post some of my tweets from last night:
- Maybe the most boring epi of The #Bachelor I've ever seen. Stunned by his pick, too. Odd.
- Who thinks those stupid swimsuits with the mini skirt on the bottoms are attractive or sexy? They are hideous. #Bachelor
- We're going to go through an entire season of The #Bachelor without hearing Jake tell one story. We know zero about him.
- Wow, somehow, Jake is sooooo much worse of a dancer than I could have ever imagined. Worst dancer I've ever seen. #Bachelor
Some quick comments on the above tweets. So yeah, that episode was incredibly boring. If I skipped this episode, and someone asked me to describe what I thought happened, I probably wouldn't have missed much just by guessing. Even Ali calling back and asking to come back wasn't unexpected because ABC previewed the shit out of it. The beginning of the show was a recap of what had happened, then they previewed what was going to happen (all filler so far). Then each girl gets a fantasy suite date. They each talk about how beautiful their surroundings are, each girl says she's falling in love with Jake, and Jake repeats the same boring, non-conversation-fake-deep-questions he's asked all season. We knew Vienna would be the only one that could possibly bring something exciting to the episode, but her super unsexy white lingerie was terrible. I will say, there was only one thing worth watching this entire episode. And that was Jake dancing in the streets with Gia. Wow....Worst. Dancer. Ever. And I know I've beaten this subject to death each week, but Lizzie and I were thinking about it, and we couldn't remember one story that Jake has ever told the entire season. Can you guys think of anything? What a joke.
Tenley: Still think she's #1. But I'm seriously nervous now. This was the first week where Jake kicked someone off instead of Vienna where he actually had to make a difficult choice. So he must like her, right? If so, that is incredible. I'll be kind of stunned if Tenley doesn't win. She seems like a perfet fit for Jake. Both are idiots. Both are incredibly cheesy/sappy. Both seem like nice people.
Vienna: Again, shocked she's still here. Top 2? I have said this before, but she's one of those girls they show the first episode where I go, "Why is she on the show? She's not even remotely good looking...she has no chance whatsoever." If I had to choose between Randy winning 'Survivor' and Vienna winning 'The Bachelor' I would have probably picked Randy. My theory is that Jake has never had the opportunity / the guts to be with a slutty girl. In real life, he would never let himself pursue someone like Vienna. But because he's on the show, he's rationalized that it's ok. And since he's never been with a slutty girl, he's super into her. Add in the fact that there's zero chance that Tenley or Gia slept with him / did anything to him more than kissing on the fantasy suite dates and it's not all that surprising I guess that Vienna is still around.
Gia: Honestly, there's not much to say about Gia except that I'm surprised she got kicked off over Vienna. She's kind of a dud. I don't think there was any chance that they would work outside of the show, though. So I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ali: In my opinion, that was a hugely fake, set-up phone call asking to come back on the show. We're supposed to believe those were real emotions? Come on. She's just building up sympathy so we'll all be excited when she's the next Bachelorette. I'm pretty confident this will happen, but if she somehow shows up on the finale (not next week--she'll obv be on next week for "Women Tell All"), then I'm saying it's a lock that she's the next Bachelorette. I actually think she'd be a good Bachelorette. Similar to Jillian in a way. She's good looking, seems smart (although the past two episodes make her look like a 5-year-old whiny idiot), and seems somewhat clever. She's just not as nice as Jillian. I think we kind of got used to relatively interesting seasons with DeAnna, Jason, and Jillian. Compared to them, ABC may as well used a rock instead of Jake. But I think Ali's season would be more similar to the non-Jake recent seasons.
Thoughts?
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